Nikolai and Nikolai

Why did I call my son after my grandad Nikolai?⁣
To feel the presence of my grandad every time I say his name?⁣
To carry the thread of our special connection?⁣
For my grandad’s pure soul to come back to us in my son?⁣

I look into my baby’s eyes and see a whole other soul, a brand new being and a newly created universe.⁣
This is a new Nikolai … ⁣

Suddenly aware of this, I can actually release and let my grandad go…⁣ And welcome a brand new life.⁣

But in those first precious newborn days when my son was already with us, yet still, in another world, I’m sure my grandad said hello - I definitely saw his twinkle:⁣

It’s as if a metaphysical portal opened up from my newborn baby’s eyes and into this vast boundless space I’m not supposed to be able to grasp, and my granddad’s unmistakable presence, purity and warmth poured in.

Goodbye Nikolai⁣
Hello Nikolai